One would think that having three kids, a mortgage and a minivan would have grounded me in the reality that I am, well, old, a full-fledged grown-up who gets called "m'am" by teenaged cashiers and "Fill-in-the-blank's mom" by my kids' playmates. But the thing is, most of the time I don't feel old.
Looking out on the world (vs. at myself in the mirror), I still feel as if I'm looking through the 26-year old eyes that drank in the lapis skies of Kapalua while honeymooning in Maui. Then I look at pictures from that honeymoon and see my husband and I, almost a decade younger, looking . . . young. Well-rested. Young.
And then I get glossy photo collage thank-you cards from newly minted brides and grooms and think, "When did it become acceptable to send a blanket 'thanks for everything' photo card instead of a handwritten thank-you note?" Then I feel old.
The geezer in me thinks, 'Photo cards are for Christmas. Where's the monogrammed stationery? The personal note about how they'll think of us every time they whip up a batch of brownies with that hand mixer? The signature, for crying out loud?!?'
The thing is this bride is a lovely girl (old folks like me can call twenty-somethings "girls"), well-mannered, polite, sweet. I'm sure she's very appreciative of our gift (which, for those of you who were thinking you wouldn't have bothered with a handwritten thank-you for a hand mixer either, was cash for their nest egg. The hand mixer thing was for illustrative purposes only.) She has lovely parents who, I'm sure, taught her proper manners.
Which leads me to believe that the photo card must be a sign of our "convenience at all cost!" times. Well, it's a sign of the end times, if you ask me.
Crotchety old ladies like me prefer tradition over efficiency, the pen over the photo printer. A handwritten note indicates value - the writer values your investment in them enough to invest a few minutes of time in return. We also think all new brides should suffer like, I mean, share the same rite of passage that we did when we wrote 220+ thank-you notes back in 2003.
For a split second, as I stood there holding that card, I thought, 'Perhaps I'm overreacting. Perhaps I'm just out of touch. Perhaps this is the new standard for expressing gratitude.' So I did a litmus test with my husband.
"A 'thanks for everything' photo card?" I asked, checking his face for a reaction.
"Yeah, I know. That's what I thought too," he replied.
How I do look forward to growing even older with this man who appreciates the importance of a proper thank-you card.
