Perception is reality

If you ever have the opportunity to eavesdrop on a child's game of pretend, I highly recommend you take advantage of it. The odds are spectacular that you'll hear the funniest or most insightful (sometimes both) phrase of your day.

For example, during one particular game of house my daughter, in one sentence, revealed to me that the division of labor in our home perpetuates the age-old gender stereotype of woman as caregiver:

My son: I want to hold the baby.

My daughter (fully embracing her role as me and employing appropriate spousal nickname): No, hon. I'm the mommy, and mommies take care of babies. Daddies are their assistants.

On a more recent occasion, during another game of house, my son let his interpretation of personal liberties slip when he rebuffed his sister's request to do something (probably hold that baby he'd wanted to hold three months ago) with a matter-of-fact, "No, I'm a grown-up, and grown-ups can do whatever they want."

If only.

Let me assure you that neither my husband nor I have ever told our kids that daddies are only assistants in the child rearing process (though my husband might actually be in favor of that approach) or that grown-ups can do whatever they please whenever the mood strikes them, which obviously means that's how they perceive the world operates.


But isn't perception reality for everyone, including we self-indulgent, autonomous grown-ups?

I've written a few articles from a parents' perspective for our church newsletter. Hoping to be a voice of encouragement for other moms, I was very honest about my short-comings and insecurities as a parent.

In complimenting me on one of the articles, our minister remarked, "I was surprised to read that you felt that way. You always look like you have it all together."

Unfortunately, his perception is not my reality, and if I were a gambling gal I'd wager the same is true for most women who appear to "have it all together." So for those, like me, who often feel a twinge of envy when you see one of those on-the-ball moms who seems to have time for everyone and everything in her life, take heart. She probably had to stop at Walmart on the way to school to buy clean underwear and juice boxes for her kids because she hadn't gotten around to washing their undies or thermoses the night before.

And for those rare moms who do actually have it all together, consider investing in a method to bottle that mojo. You could make a fortune.