Against my better judgment and completely out of dire necessity, I took all three kids on a Christmas shopping expedition yesterday. In an effort to keep the outing from dissolving into complete chaos, I dedicated quite a bit of time and energy to making mental and logistic preparations, including but not limited to conducting online research to make sure the items I was targeting would be available at the stores I planned to hit and stuffing extra snacks and my accordion coupon folder into the diaper bag, on Tuesday evening.
I woke up resolved to a) actually execute my strategy, as many similarly well-intentioned outings have gone awry in the past, and b) maintain a good sense of humor in the process. To my delight, the kids seemed to have made the same resolution, as the early morning went as smoothly as it can when you're trying to feed, clothe and groom three kids, one of whom can't yet do any of the above independently. To my absolute shock, we actually backed out of our driveway a mere 30 minutes later than I had planned.
Our first stop was Barnes & Noble. My pre-game planning had indicated that the B&N located in the shopping center I had planned to visit didn't have the Tim Tebow book I wanted for my nephew in stock. Naturally. It would have been too easy to get the kids in and out of their car and booster seats only once.
Before we crossed the threshold of the store, I agreed to some playtime if the older two cooperated while I snagged the book. They did, so we spent the next 20 minutes performing on the mini stage that anchors the kids' section and hosts Tales at Twilight, B&N's children's story time series. Both the menagerie of stuffed animals that comprised the audience and I enjoyed the show.
Next, we were off to The Summit with the goal of crossing several outstanding gift needs off my list. Before we could shop, however, we had to eat. It was nearly noon, and I'd coaxed the kids, who spotted a display of Angry Birds paraphernalia on our way to the door, out of B&N with the promise of lunch at our next destination. So lunch it was. At Five Guys Burgers and Fries. If you've never been, I wouldn't recommend going out of your way to do so. The burgers were tasty enough, but the price and the music, which was blaring at a concert decibel level during our visit, soured me on the experience. My son, on the other hand, announced happily while mauling his burger, "This is a good restaurant!" Both daughters, one of whom also ate every last morsel in front of her and the other of whom slept through lunch, seemed to concur.
It was an unusually balmy December day, so the outdoor venue proved a perfect choice for letting the kids burn off their burgers and some energy scampering along the sidewalk and climbing on the benches, statues, other shoppers (just kidding) we passed along the way. Since it was so lovely, I decided we'd make the entire circuit on foot, promising a visit to Build-a-Bear Workshop (BaB) before we left if, once again, they cooperated along the way.
I'll spare you play-by-play on the rest of our outing, but as anyone with kids could surmise it was eventful and exhausting, as any visit to a public venue always is with young children. We made it to almost all the stores I identified in my scouting report, though, disappointingly, we didn't make any of the purchases I'd hope to make at said locations. And since the kids had been as well-behaved as is humanly possible for them to be, we doubled-back for a visit to BaB.
By that time, my mental and physical moxy had worn thin, and so it was that I found myself teetering on the decision to take advantage of the "great deal" BaB was offering in honor of the holidays. For a mere $25, you could stuff and attire with one outfit of your choice any animal in the store. Considering that the cheapest critter I saw goes for $18 and the outfits run somewhere in the neighborhood of what I'd pay for clothing for a human being, it really was a good deal. If you need more stuffed animals. Which we don't.
It took all I had in me not to say, "Hey kids, want to stuff something?" I tried for a few minutes to justify making the purchase, but then reason (or God, who doesn't want me to sacrifice my marriage for a stuffed Hello Kitty in a glittery pink tutu) took over.
The kids, this voice reminded me, are the only ones I've crossed completely off my shopping list, and that "great deal" would end up costing me $50 plus tax. $75 plus tax if I made the even more ridiculous decision to stuff something for my four-month old, which I considered since I didn't want her to be left out.
I clung to that voice and, before it had the chance to slip quietly into the depths of my overtaxed brain, blurted out, "Time to go!" Thankfully, the kids complied with nary a complaint, and I was able to fairly quickly stuff three small people and our stroller back in the truck and peel out of the parking lot before I had the chance to blow my next paycheck on stupid stuff that we definitely don't need.
Cut to this morning. I've been up since 4:30 a.m., when that four-month old who was very nearly the proud owner of a cute brown and black spotted BaB puppy woke up hungry. After it was clear she had no intention of drifting back off to sleep after she finished First Breakfast, I got up, made coffee, threw a batch of green beans in the crockpot (the office potluck lunch is today, after all) and then opened the January issue of Real Simple magazine.
Picking up where I left off last night, I scanned Michelle Slatalla's advice for how to say no to things like making green beans for the office potluck lunch. I then turned the page to find five suggestions for increasing my willpower and was catapulted back to that moment yesterday when I'd almost dropped $79.50 at BaB.
"On average, we spend four hours each day actively resisting things we desire. Every time we refuse to succumb - say . . . by holding our temper - our bodies draw on our store of glucose, which carries energy to the muscles and brain. When our glucose levels are low, our willpower weakens." (Roy F. Baumeister, PH.D, professor at FL State University)
Dr. Baumeister recommends fueling up on healthy meals and snacks that have a good balance of lean protein and healthy carbs (a turkey and cheese sandwich on wheat, to be precise) to prevent a dip in glucose and willpower.
I'd like to suggest not taking three kids ages five and under on a four-hour, three stop shopping expedition so you can avoid spending those four hours resisting the urge to blow a gasket because your kids are dribbling basketballs in and out of towering displays of glassware and ornaments at Fan Outfitters. Failure to comply could result in the expansion of your collection of overpriced stuffed animals.
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