Here comes the space ranger bride

To my future daughter-in-law (whoever you may be),

I'm writing today to let you know that you have snagged the rare breed of fiancée who has already taken the lead on wedding planning. For years, the debate has raged as to whether it's a good thing for men to have an opinion about the wedding details. While one side bemoans the fact that their soon-to-bes don't seem to care at all about the wedding (um, they don't, but that doesn't mean they don't want to marry you. They simply don't care about aisle swags and party favors.), the other wonders why you'd want their input. What if that opinion you say you want differs from your own? Then you have to figure out how to tell him no without coming across as a battle ax before you even say "I do."

At any rate, your beloved falls into the camp of having an opinion, and it surfaced after his first bite of "deee-licious" wedding cake this past Saturday, when he seemingly decided that the cake alone would be worth getting married for. Yours, by the way, will feature Buzz Lightyear.

Your parents will be thrilled that they're inheriting a thrifty son-in-law who will save them hundreds of dollars on the wedding venue by hosting the affair in his Grammy and Papaw's backyard. You may want to consider flats so you don't sink into the grass.

Eschewing the standard band or DJ entertainment options, he's decided it would be more interesting to feature a giant waterslide and inflatable bounce house. Okay, forget the flats. Buy a nice pair of flip-flops.

Again bucking tradition, he's decided the wedding party will be costumed in Toy Story apparel and has already assigned everyone in our family characters. His older sister will be outfitted as Jesse the Cowgirl, your future father-in-law as Rex the dinosaur, and yours truly will appear as Evil Dr. Porkchop. S will, of course, wear his Buzz Lightyear costume, which may be a bit short in the inseam unless you take the plunge within the next six months.

When I asked him what his wife would be wearing, he seemed puzzled as he replied, "My wife?" Don't worry. His sister and I explained that you come with the cake, and once we got that cleared up he agreed to let you wear a white dress. I simply advise you look for one that works with a space ranger helmet since you will be Mrs. Buzz Lightyear.

I'm sure it will be a lovely affair and hope you're just as eager to join our family as we are to have you in it. I'll save my letter on the topics of his enthusiasm for picking up toys and dirty clothes and, um, selective eating habits, for after the nuptials.